The bottom line

58 comments

Four weeks have melted away in the heat since we boarded our flight from England to India and began our indefinite world travels. During this time I have kind of felt like a migratory bird in training, a little wobbly on my feet, but determined to spread my wings and take flight.

Except it hasn’t quite worked out like that. As it turns out, this bird is more of a nest builder than a graceful glider. It’s been so nice and comfortable in our little house here in Goa that I haven’t really left. I’ve basically just sat on my butt all day reading, writing and working on several graphic design projects. And it’s been wonderful, if a little short on creative inspiration.

Sure, we’ve done things. I mean, we’ve grocery shopped, tackled ant infestations, swept and mopped daily, perfected the art of sleeping in a hammock and caught up on The X Factor UK and Homeland. We’ve basically done all the things we would have back home in England, save for the hammock part and battling with insects as omnipresent as the Kardashions. But apart from the fact that we are in India, we haven’t really been doing much in the way of travel.

After our slow but sweet start, what we needed was a good kick up the butt.

Or maybe a lump.

Yup, a lump up the butt should definitely do it.

::

Over the past couple of weeks I have felt an increasing discomfort every time I sat down. The pain was steadily growing more and more severe, and I could feel a large round lump at the very end of my tailbone. I kept hoping it would just go away, and was simply caused by the huge stress relief of finally being on the road, but the pain and the lump continued to grow.

I’m a bit of a hypochondriac at the best of times, but this situation was amplified by a recent health scare I had just before we left home. Following a routine smear test my results showed abnormalities to the cells in my cervix, and I was sent to the hospital for a minor, but very painful procedure. I then had to wait six weeks for my results, and was told I had a 70% chance of needing further treatment.

This was three weeks before we left for India. We discussed delaying our flights while we waited for the results, but in the end decided to carry on as normal, and if I needed further treatment I would simply have to fly back home again.

It was an incredibly worrying six weeks, but as you can probably guess from the fact that I’m still here, my results recently came back clear. It was one major pain in the ass over with, now all I had to do was deal with the actual pain in my ass.

::

We asked around for recommendations of a good doctor, but were met with little more than blank faces. In a place where most people turn to religion and spiritual symbolism to heal their various ailments, a trip to the local GP is not something they were too familiar with.

In the end we decided to go to the hospital. Well, actually Lee decided. I was too busy freaking out and thinking the worst, so he ordered me to get dressed and get my troublesome ass in gear.

We drove to the nearby Dhavalikar Hospital, a building in a standard state of disrepair for the area, but immaculately clean inside and filled with neatly dressed staff whose English far exceeded my Hindi.

We were shown into a small room where a nurse took my blood pressure then told us to wait for the doctor, giving Lee ample time to torture me by taking photos and writing mock prescription notes using the official pad the doctor had left on his desk.

This is my ‘When my ass gets better I’m gonna kick yours to kingdom come’ face.

When the doctor arrived he introduced himself with a warm, reassuring smile, then proceeded to get familiar with my newly exposed bottom. “Ah, dis is perfectly normal” he half laughed. “You have some swelling but it is fine. It is just inflammation of the coccyx, caused by too much sitting down.”

I felt myself die a little on the bed. Too much sitting down?!

Lee suppressed his laughter while I regained my modesty and the doctor turned to write out a prescription for anti-inflammatories. These needed to be combined with plenty of exercise and as little time spent sitting down as possible. He also advised that we procure a rubber ring for me to use when sitting was unavoidable.

Humiliating, but surprisingly comfortable.

Since then I have been taking my pills and swimming in the sea every day, and falling readily into a more active lifestyle, far more suited to that of the adventurous travel blogger I set out to be.

Part of me feels embarrassed that I didn’t just jump right in and start charging around India when we first arrived, but that part decreases daily along with my physical pain, and the bottom line is that I needed this time to be still.

And now I am ready to fly.

Yesterday we took a road trip on our trusty moped to explore more of Goa and finally do some of the travelling we came here to do. It was wonderful to wind our way along roads that cut through the jungle like a river, and feel sweet relief from the heat as we sped through the dappled shade. The dust of adventure stuck to our sweat-dampened skin and matted my hair as it whipped across my shoulders. I closed my eyes and smiled as I breathed it all in, and stretched out my hands like wings, feeling the air begin to lift me up.

After four long hours on the bumpy, pothole-ridden roads we arrived home weary from the journey but refreshed by the experience.

And we both had really sore asses.

break

{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }

Dalene October 28, 2012 at 15:13

Wow! (Sorry to laugh, that had to be painful and an awful experience of worry, but it is also pretty damn funny). If that’s not motivation to *get out there*, I don’t know what is! 🙂

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Hannah October 28, 2012 at 15:30

Yeah, it’s funny and totally humiliating, but a lesson well learned! There’ll be no more marathon sessions of Homeland for me!!!

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Kirsten October 28, 2012 at 15:47

LOL Talk about natural consequences… It just took you a little while to get your bearings straight before you really go for it. You know I’m going to be sharing this story. It’s so well written and hugely funny (almost as funny as the huge lump on your arse). My thoughts are with you while you live your adventure in India… enjoy!

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 01:27

Thank you Kirsten, I’m glad you enjoyed it! It has been a wonderful four weeks as we relaxed and enjoyed the house, but now I’m excited to get out there and see more of India 🙂

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Toni October 28, 2012 at 16:24

So glad to hear that you’re ok sweetheart – I’m sure your worries went in overdrive after your pre-travel health scare but I’m glad you’re seeing the funny side that you need to sit on a rubber ring and what a gorgeous rubber ring it is 🙂 Now stop replying to this comment and get out and be active 😉 haha

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 01:28

Thanks honey, I’ll save the rubber ring for you 😉

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Patti October 28, 2012 at 16:53

Wow! I think that’s a good lesson for all of us bloggers who tend to sit for hours at a time. Get up and get moving! Your post was, I have to admit, quite funny and made me laugh, I especially love the little pool ring for sitting. In the “end” I am glad everything is well. Take Care!

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 01:31

Yes, to be honest it’s a miracle it hasn’t happened before! When I was still working in England as a graphic designer I sat on my ass all day long… At least it made for a good story 🙂

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Scarlett October 28, 2012 at 17:07

Sorry Hannah, but I couldn’t help but laugh at this!! I’m so glad you’re ok! xx

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 01:31

Thanks Scarlett, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

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Rika | Cubicle Throwdown October 28, 2012 at 17:13

Aw Hannah! I have to admit, I giggled a bit as well… but glad it wasn’t anything serious, and that it gave you a little push to fly from the nest a bit 🙂

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 01:33

Thanks Rika. They say laughter is the best medicine, so I’m laughing along with you and hoping it helps speed up my recovery 🙂

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Stephen Schreck October 28, 2012 at 17:27

Glad it is nothing serious Hannah! I can’t believe you mastered the art of sleeping in a hammock, that is something I have never been able to do. Well I did it once but sort of rolled out on my face. 🙂

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 01:33

The trick is to lay diagonally across it 🙂

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Stephen Schreck October 30, 2012 at 00:27

haha thanks for the tip! I will conquer the hammock.

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Hannah October 30, 2012 at 03:55

Good luck, let me know how it goes!

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Bethaney - Flashpacker Family October 28, 2012 at 22:48

Oh Hannah! Diagnosis: Too much sitting….. too funny!!!
I’m sure it was embarrassing at the time but it sure makes for a hilarious story.

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 01:34

Glad I could make you laugh Bethaney 🙂

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Sarah Somewhere October 28, 2012 at 22:52

I’m so glad you let this story lose on the world! I laughed at Lee’s prescription!! So glad it’s nothing serious my dear, and that you now have the ‘all clear’ to live freely and fully now that the initial stress of leaving is behind you. Oops, I said ‘behind’.

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 01:50

Thanks Sarah, that made me laugh!

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Margaret Hogan October 28, 2012 at 22:55

Thanks Hannah. I now have this image etched in my brain of you bumping along on your little moped sitting atop your rubber ring. You’ve made my morning x Take care.

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 01:51

Happy to help Marg 🙂

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Mike Gothard October 28, 2012 at 23:36

Hannah, grateful you’re going to be okay…live to die another day 😉 I loved what you wrote about “…and swimming in the sea every day.” Isak Dinesen wrote, “The cure for anything is saltwater: sweat, tears, or the sea.” I miss the sea. Thank you for sharing. Take care…mike

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 01:53

Thanks Mike, that is a beautiful quote – I’ll be sure to add it to my collection! It has been a wonderful treat to have the sea right on my doorstep, even just to look at and listen to the waves 🙂

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Caroline October 29, 2012 at 03:17

I love this post! I love most how you took the time to relax and just be when you first got to Goa, I think it’s so important that you did that and having been in a similar position I totally get why you would need it. I also love how the universe conspired to give you a kick up the ass (quite literally) when the time needed for relaxation came to an end. After thinking we might miss each other, I am so excited to see you in Goa next year 🙂

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 05:58

Thank you Caroline! We really did need the time to relax and ease in to this new lifestyle, and I’m grateful we were able to do so, but now I’m ready for a little more action. And I’m so excited that you will get to see our house when you come over next year 🙂

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Mike October 29, 2012 at 03:27

Haha, an interesting prognosis! I’m glad you’re out and about exploring India.

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 05:59

Thanks Mike 🙂

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Therese October 29, 2012 at 06:02

Hahahahahahahaha!

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 11:48

Thanks T 😉

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Nomes October 29, 2012 at 11:08

Hannah! this is hilarious! I love the whole story. Right, guess it’s get up off the ass time now, big hugs xxx

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Hannah October 29, 2012 at 11:49

Thanks Naomi, might even throw in some yoga xxx

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Jeremy or IHeartTravel October 29, 2012 at 13:49

The title and main pic in this post are truly hilarious! Glad to know your health scares were nothing serious, and that you got a cool sitting tube in the process!
Enjoy your doctor prescribed active lifestyle : )

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Hannah October 30, 2012 at 03:56

Thanks Jeremy! The rubber ring will definitely come in handy when we go river tubing in Hampi next month 🙂

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OurLifeExperiments October 29, 2012 at 14:30

Glad to hear your results came back good, that’s always a huge load off your shoulder! Well, at least you now have a portable flotation device along with you, as well as a comfortable place to sit. :o)

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Hannah October 30, 2012 at 03:57

Haha, yes that’s true! I’ll feel much more comfortable in any emergency situation now!

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Savvy Scot October 29, 2012 at 14:53

So glad you are OK… I need my travel fix! When does the Rickshaw challenge start?

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Stephen Schreck October 30, 2012 at 00:29

I agree with Savvy I can’t wait for Richshaw to get underway!

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Hannah October 30, 2012 at 04:00

We head to Jaisalmer on the 27th December for some driving practice and rickshaw pimping, then the actual Rickshaw Run launches on 1st January 2013. I am so ridiculously excited to hit the road (not literally I hope!) and can’t wait to share our adventures with you 🙂

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Ayngelina October 29, 2012 at 16:52

That is hilarious, but seriously over time you will realize that you should not feel compelled to do anything. Just do what you want and don’t worry about whether you should be sitting on your ass or out exploring, it will all come naturally.

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Hannah October 30, 2012 at 04:03

Thanks for your kind words of advice Ayngelina. I don’t really feel compelled exactly, but do feel like I should try and make the most of this beautiful part of the world while I’m here. We are still taking it at our own pace, and travelling in our own style though, and it feels good 🙂

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Meka October 29, 2012 at 21:54

Glad to hear that everything is okay. Quite a funny story. I think that was your sign to get out and start embracing all that newness waiting to be discovered:) It appears you are doing just that:)

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Hannah October 30, 2012 at 04:04

Thanks Meka 🙂

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Vacay Girl October 30, 2012 at 16:16

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at you sitting so ladylike on your tushy float. Ha! And like everyone else I’m glad everything turned out ok. I’m sure that you were worried about being ill when you have just started off on your journey. It’s too soon to have such worries. And I hope the both of you never have a health scare that turns out to be serious. That’s something I think about now when I think about my move to MX.

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Hannah October 31, 2012 at 16:16

Glad I could make you laugh! It was very difficult having a cancer scare hanging over us at this early stage in our adventures, but it certainly helped put everything in perspective, and now I am even more grateful to be here finally living my dream 🙂

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Susan @ Travel Junkette October 30, 2012 at 18:58

Ha! Glad you are feeling better, but it’s a bit hilari-ASS!

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Hannah October 31, 2012 at 16:17

Ha! Love it 🙂

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Dani October 30, 2012 at 22:34

I had to laugh when I read which hospital you went to – we went to Dhavalikar Hospital five months ago, also for a butt injury! (Jess got hit by a cow in Palolem, so watch out when you walk down the roads there :D) Will you bring your rubber ring on the Rickshaw Run? It’ll make the tuktuk ride much more comfortable for sure 😉

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Hannah October 31, 2012 at 16:20

What a funny coincidence, I hope Jess has recovered well – those cows can be mean! I’m definitely taking the rubber ring on the Rickshaw Run, and am thinking of buying one for Kim and Sarah as well. We’re certainly going to need them 🙂

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Kim October 31, 2012 at 00:59

Wow, there are so many ass jokes out there I can’t even handle it! Hannah, I’m so glad you are okay. Now I sit here and wait on my own ass-sitting injury. XO

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Hannah October 31, 2012 at 16:20

Just wait till we get in that rickshaw. Our asses won’t know what hit them!

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Hogga October 31, 2012 at 19:28

Hahah is it wrong that I kinda think that donut looks like a good idea for just every day sitting?

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Hannah November 1, 2012 at 08:38

Well, considering the fact that my pain has gone but I am still sitting on my rubber ring right now, I would say it is a pretty darn amazing idea 🙂

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Alex November 6, 2012 at 17:02

Haha I love this story, and Lee’s sense of humor. Maybe it was the universe’s way of giving you a gentle push to get off the computer… I know I need one sometimes! Glad it was nothing serious.

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Hannah November 7, 2012 at 07:55

Thanks Alex! It’s hard making sure I step away from my desk as I balance my freelance design work and blogging, as I just enjoy it all so much. But we are mixing it up with days out and trips to explore Goa, and my bottom is doing well so far 🙂

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Victoria | Bridges and Balloons November 28, 2012 at 17:18

Hey Hannah, I’m only just getting to read this now after my time in the jungle. What an amazing diagnosis! An excellent reason to take up yoga! I’m actually really struggling to sit back down at my computer after being so active this past month. It’s really highlighting how static I normally am. I’m determined to try and move more.
Also, I’m of course delighted you got the all clear from the other results. Take care, Victoria x

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Torre – Fearful Adventurer December 5, 2012 at 12:49

This makes me wonder … why I don’t have an inflamed ass?

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